Deadly Ritual

Monday marks the last day of classes for all faculties in UW. In the 3 weeks between ‎Monday and the last day of exams about half a million children will die of hunger. The ‎direction that we have taken towards capitalism and consumerism is taking human lives. ‎The free market system based on maximization of profits will take our race down the drain ‎with it. Get informed.‎

نوروز

سال هزار و سیصد و هشتاد و پنج خورشیدی بر نوروز دوستان مبارک باد

آرزوهای خوب بکنین. منم آرزو می کنم که هممون به آرزوهامون برسیم. عید شما مبارک.

America Loves Me

It's funny that they call it the "Random Check", because every single time I pass through American borders with my one and only Iranian passport, I seem to win the lottery of going through a body inspection. But during my last visit to the States and back I seemed to have hit the jackpot, 'cause not only they did a body inspection, but they physically inspected my baggage too! And I only found that out in Pearson airport when I opened my bag to take out my jacket and found this lovely piece of paper inside:

And this is the part I love the most:

"If the TSA screener was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the screener may have been forced to break the locks on your bag. TSA sincerely regrets having to do this, however TSA is not libable for damage to you locks resulting from this necessary security precaution." !!!! Then who the hell is liable!? And even if you were liable, how the hell was I supposed to get you now that I am a thousand miles away?!

The funny part is that I didn't even have any locks on it, and YET they were "FORCED" to break the zippers! These people must be on CRACK! I swear I looked sooo pissed off that moment, that my facial expression could win me an Oscar that night! And after I read this note, I stood there with a lock-less, broken bag, OFF the American soil with TSA's love letter in my hands. I bet the bastards were still cracking a joke about me: "HaHA HA HA!!! Aw man! did you see how I pulled off the zippers out of that guy's bag! Ah! YEAH! I'm sooooo goood at this job! Damn good! Hell! They should promote me!"

Herioc Acts Of Bravery

Last weekend, when I was in Toronto, Mammad Japoni and a couple other barobax were ‎over at our place. It was late night and it had been quite a while since Soby had hit the ‎bed as it was already past his bedtime. As Larchestan rested in silence and as Mammad ‎was getting ready to leave, the main door opens wide and this huge monster walks in; he ‎gives a dirty look at Mammad and goes straight up the stairs. Mammad being shocked ‎and surprised walks to Soby’s door and knocks: “Sobhan? Ye yarooe raft bala!” Soby ‎thinking that Mammad is either playing a practical joke on him or he’s hallucinating from ‎that good double apple Shisha that he’s had half an hour ago safely ignores him in ‎disbelief. However, Mammad keeps insisting that indeed some guy in dirty clothes went ‎upstairs. Soby finally manages to get up. The two of them go upstairs and check the room ‎in front of mine and see that it’s empty, then they stare at my room’s closed door for a ‎while and Soby asks Mammad: “motmaenni yeki oomad baalaa?”….”Areh baba! ‎Khodam didam. Yaroo kheili ghiafash khafan bid!” As both of them are trying to hide ‎their fears from each other, they open my door to find this guy passed out on my bed:‎

‎- “Who are you!!!???”‎
‎- “I’m Craig”‎
‎- “What the hell are you doing here?! You gotta get outa here man!”‎
‎- “Nooo! I live here.”‎
‎- “No man! You gotta get out”‎

And they try forcing him out of the house as he keeps trying to convince them that this ‎place is in fact his home. Soon Soby realizes that that this Craig guy is one of the ‎previous tenants of Larchestan and he has mistaken our place with his new home; ‎knowing that Craig was getting some mail at our place he gives him his letters and forces ‎him out the door.‎

Being linked to the topic of heroic actions, this story reminds of me of what happened in ‎Vegas. A few months ago when me, Ehsan, Saeed and Saman were in Las Vegas, we ‎were quite tired from stuffing unlimited amounts of food in Bellagio’s buffet and taking ‎quite a bit of walk on the strip, and we had returned to our hotel room. Our hotel room ‎was reserved for 2 adults since it would have been more expensive if we had said that ‎there were 4 of us, so two of us had to sneak in, in addition, we chose to get a non-‎smoking room as none of us smoked cigarettes and smoking rooms always stink of ‎smoke, but how could we ever go on a vacation and not smoke ghelyoon?! So upon our ‎entrance to the room we prepared and smoked two ghelyoons, which totally filled the ‎room with a thick haze of smoke then we passed out. Few minutes later as I was in the ‎middle of a dream, suddenly the door handle started shaking aggressively as if someone ‎was about to break the door open and enter the room. I jumped up to lock it to prevent the ‎management from finding out at what state of disaster our room was, that all of sudden I ‎froze in surprise since the three other BRAVE gentlemen who were with me quickly tried ‎to hide under the sheets in fear of harm!! And I said to myself, what a brave act of ‎defense and what a smart way of hiding 1.80 meter, 80+ kilo bodies under the sheets! ‎Thank god we’re not in ghettos of New York or the dangerous Saharas of Africa!‎

3.14159265358979323846264…

The geeks that we are. Normally, we would only know it up to two decimal places: 3.14. But here at the Mathematics faculty of the University of Waterloo, PI is a ritual. In here the holiness is not in the church, or the mosque or the temple, in here the holiness is in the PI and the LOG.

Today is March 14 = 3.14 get it? And at 1:59 (refer to the next three digits of PI) the Math faculty celebrates the PI day. The geeks that we are. Today, everybody can get free pie at MC. Just show up in front of C&D in 3rd floor MC and join the line-up of hungry pie seekers. I’ve also heard that there’s contest on knowing the most digits of PI by heart. Join the geek squad!

And why the log you ask? Well for those of you who are still not convinced of our geekyness, I introduce you to the LOG. The log is the official mascot of the math faculty, although I must say that the pink tie is advertised more aggressively (more about that later). The log which represents the natural logarithm is an actual piece of wood which is displayed on the 3rd floor of Math building. EXCEPT! Engineers…the jealous cowards that they are stole it and carved their mark on it and spread pictures of it throughout the campus. What can I say?! They’re only engineers! We have examples of them right here among our barobax ;) (I have to fuel SOME controversy and conflict right?!)

The pink tie, which is better known as a UW Math emblem is a huge pink tie (about 6 meters long maybe) that is hung from the top of MC during frosh week. It is inspired by one of founders of the Math faculty in UW who is said to have always worn a pink tie. The pink tie is also said to have been vandalized several times, and for this reason, math students known as “Tie Guards” protect it 24 hours during the few days that it’s on display. Math students, guys and girls, occasionally wear pink ties in an effort to show their loyalty and respect for this fine institute.

And now, I have equipped you with all the proof you need to state that Math students are geeks. Go on and spread the truth.

Mommy's Food

About a month ago I made a visit home; and "home" is ambigious. But here I am referring to the place my family lives at: Pueblo. During my one week stay at Pueblo, I was swamped with school work and I barely had any time to go out with my family. However, it was still a great opportunity to just be with my mom and brother as my dad was in Dubai for business. And without a doubt one of the things that I enjoyed the most was eating "dastpokhte mamanjoon"...and truly...nothing beats mommy's food...

Back again!

It sure has been a while. It’s not always easy to keep a pace and for me it is inevitable to keep the updates steady. But, I’m back and I have plans to boost the updates once more. I have uploaded ISAW’s Norooz party pictures. Thanks to all of the barobax who made the night happen. It was fun. There will be more updates so stay tuned.